Get all 20 the blunt force trauma releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of i still can't find the funny part, mmxxiv, so happy to be here, iv - the demos, plastering up a smile, iv (the iv-track mixes), it only comes once a year, iv, and 12 more.
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if you become naked you'll never see the stars
if you don't become naked you won't make it very far
turn me on dead man just one time
i swear i'll blow you right outta your mind
business, pleasure, beeswax in a can
ain't no food upon the table ain't no pork upon the pan
i can't stand this headache
i just wanna rip it off like a bandaid and replace it with a lampshade
how was i supposed to know
how this whole thing was gonna go?
i just blew up all my friends
now i'll probably never get to see them again
not like i'm ever getting into heaven
a singer must die for the 7/11
you wasted your drink
you threw up in my sink
and you didn't even let me walk you home
how is it that even when i'm the customer i always say the wrong thing?
you could go scrubbing the popcorn machine but did you really if you're not sent home in a sling?
business, pleasure. beeswax a song to sing
and some old summer fling
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2. |
got milk?
02:52
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old mr useless says goodbye to labour
thinks he's gonna cut a record
betcha he's back begging for his job
not two weeks later
packed up all his things
his cigarettes and his suitcase
stomach's running on empty
coward left his guts back at the workplace
i haven't had a drink in so long my god it's hard to think
almost at the brink, i'm considering the kitchen sink
kitchen sink don't consider me so i still don't get to drink
your husband is a henchman
for the big charlie brown
and this thanksgiving
we're painting up the whole damn town
when they gonna break the news
that some of us had gotta be born to lose
maybe we could all be winners if we all wore the same shoes
unless they're really fucken ugly in which case i think i'm gonna have to choose
oh please i only have one question
we only speak to men made of silk
no please let me ask my question
do you by any chance happen to got milk?
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3. |
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let's celebrate this friday on tuesday well whaddya say?
i can't wait
the talibans reclaimed the amusement parks from the desert island loan sharks
now we're free to play
how come the windows all opaque, looks like maybe it's got something to say
just hates the rain
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
man
man
yoyos don't build character but if you believe they could bring the effiel tower right down to its beams
just wait and see
i'm coming loose now at the seems the curse of papa shango has me on my knees
saying
please don't you know that
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
man
man
maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
how longs it gonna be now
until my time comes?
the son sets down, saves me
all my sufferings done
i know it's not likely
that i'd ever be visited by the one
but if i ask nicely
maybe he'll fire me into the
suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
my friend is a cruel and unusual
man
man
maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
a man
a man
a cruel and unusual man
a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
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i didn't mean to unsheathe my cowardice
but i must admit that i thought it was very nice
when you offered me that salt & pepper walt and disney
cryogenically frozen under the ice
at this moment i'll have to decline
but i would love doing business on some other time
are you still around around a quarter to nine?
you tell me it's a pleasure but the pleasure's all mine
we could go back & forth across the sea
we could setup swingsets in the baackyard tree
we could get lost in another mystery
she used to be he
he used to be me
now i'm riding in the back of the uniform truck
all these lottery tickets but just no luck
and i thought that my last lifetime sucked
i'm sorry honey but i'm just too drunk to fuck
i want a star next time to manilow
heimlech choking on a cantaloupe
what if they think it's just for show?
oh my god, what if they think it's just for show?
what if they think it's just for show?
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5. |
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the cia killed jfk
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spent my whole life dreaming of the greener grass
not sure if this feeling's ever gonna pass
i'll mow the lawn again
every single day i wanna pack my bags
living with the fear is such a drag
but it's my closest friend
why do the CEOs of all these companies
get to make more money than me
when it's my content that's streamed
you say i'm always going crossing lines
why should i say anything for less than dimes?
i mean it almost rhymes
maybe one day when we're not being eaten alive
we could take turn jamming knives into our spines
'cause i guess we're just killing time
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8. |
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how do you satisfy a dead housewife?
the key is to fill her stomach full of hot knives
i fall asleep in the shower with the lights on
dreaming of the days when i'm the king of ping pong
he had a seasick mama
she had a beard like che guvara
my mom says i'm always showering for too long
by the time she wants one all the hot water is
gone
i nose a guy who spills salt shakers
back in the eighties he had a real mean back breaker
now he just falls asleep piledriving his car
his last ride to the tombstone ain't that far
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9. |
the arkansas blues
01:43
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i've got the arkansas blues
how'd they turn that s into
a w?
i've got the arkansas blues
how'd they turn that s into
a w?
i've got the arkansas blues
how'd they turn that s into
a w?
i've got the arkansas blues
how'd they turn that s into
a w?
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10. |
oh, andromeda!
04:20
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what's it to me?
06:00
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i met mr thompson in a dream about rattlesnakes owning land
i said "thank you for the name" and i reached out to shake his hand
i could see it in his eyes that he didn't care much
his steve austin bones stone cold to touch
but you never really learn about who you can & cannot really trust
she is the queen of the acid castle back down in pasadena
do you wanna take a trip?
back, down to the old acid castle back in good ol'pasadena do you trip?
how am i supposed to make the big leagues if when i step up to the plate i strike out every time?
how am i supposed to seen with food in my mouth i'm such a swine?
how am i supposed to believe the me that they want me to be isn't asinine?
how am i supposed to cross the sea if i feel like i'm drowning when my knees hit the shoreline?
she is the queen of the acid castle back down in pasadena
do you wanna take a trip?
back, down to the old acid castle back in good ol'pasadena do you trip?
big fat hermaphrodites, insatiable apatites, for the reptiles
the train, it goes, on for miles, with nothing to leave behind except for the turnstiles
always at the back of my mind, i wanna say i lose it but i'm just being kind
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16. |
i'm gonna puke!
02:56
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i'm gonna puke
thinking about the mush
god i wanna be crushed
oh god i've been rushed
to adulthood
i'm gonna puke
thinking about the bugs
living in my rugs
crying for a hug
or a reason
i'm gonna puke
thinking about the jobs
all the dead end jobs
working at the dead end jobs
for no reason
i'm gonna puke
thinking about the pop
and all the boys on top
who never had to setup shop
who never even had a thought
i'm gonna puke
tickling those voices
who walk in my walls
who paint waterfalls
of the vomit
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17. |
42.0FM no soap radio
05:14
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they were reading the book that killed john lennon
on no soap radio
i missed it i was getting stoned
on the motel patio
and now i'm just staring in the face
of perpetual advertising
and all you wanna know
is why i don't hear your stereo
they were firing davey crocket rockets
on no soap radio
you couldn't hear it over the sound
of the cavalry whistles blowing
and now i'm just digging in the claymore mines
for someone else's gold
and all you've got to show
is that you can't see with your eyelids closed
and you know i pray to god that the bed bugs don't bite tonight
i do not have the strength to summon some herculean might
they played your parking lot outrage
on no soap radio
who really thought that it was gonna go on
stealing the whole show
and now i'm just lying in bed
staring at the ceiling and my eyes are red
now it's time to go
and hear what i already know
they played my favourite conversations
on no soap radio
just the buzzing of the refrigerator
and the flaming of the stove
i'll probably never catch it again
just a memory to hold
now i'm just spacing out alone
on no soap radio
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18. |
pleabag
01:26
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when someone calls my name
i'm pretty sure i've just gone insane
nobody ever answers my calls
but it's all my fault
i pushed them all away
because i'm afraid
and i don't know what i'm supposed to say
but i just hope maybe someday we'll talk again
if i have the balls
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19. |
kitten's tears #8
03:31
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she's dreaming of sleeping in
somebody else's bed
say you can't fix it
find somebody else instead
even the kitten's got tears in her eyes
because even she knows there'll be no more amicable goodbyes
i'm tired of dreaming of
some little unknown town
where the golden streets
have already started to brown
i walk along with an
and when i awake i lose all that security
i'm tired of living
somebody else's place
the morning coffee and toke
just getting ready for the right race
they call it a job
just for the lack of a better word
all my art seems a joke
its got me feeling really deterred
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20. |
you're no fun anymore
11:34
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my dog always wanted
to be just like helen keller
in his rotten age
they granted him his wish
he was a walking helter skelter
i hope the genie's happy now
every time i look him in the eye
i think that i'm about to cry
he's worse than senile
i'd hope if i got to that point they'd feed me to the wild
it hurts to watch
to see you go
but i guess
that's really what it's all about
please
maybe just take it slow
and maybe one day we could try to work it out
just when i think i'm ready to settle the score
they tell me you're no fun anymore
she humours me pathetically
with her legs waxed so poetically
there's gotta be so much beauty
behind those eyes that i cannot see
andromeda coffee
coin clean
laundry machine
either way
i hope to god it's me
i don't know anything about you
but i would
know everything about you
if i could
just when i think i'm getting sore
they tell me all about how they carved out mouth rushmore
i don't know why i bother
it's so hard
just to get off the floor
probably just like my father
getting past the door
is such a chore
and just when i think i can't take it anymore
they put a rifle in my hand
and they send me off to war
say the line, bart
"you're tellin me a blunt forced this trauma?"
YEAAAAA
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